Disclaimer: This is a post directed to anyone feeling down. I am not a psychologist or counsellor. I’m only trained by life. I can’t say this will be worth your while. I’m just a 22- year-old who’s gone through some emotional turmoil and hears from people who feel the same; people who aren’t happy in some way, usually because they hate their job or some situation in their life and they don’t always see reason to be positive. This is my shout out to those people to say: Keep going! You’re strong and you’ll get there. Joy can be yours.
Life’s a rollercoaster. Some of us are riding the dips, while others of us are in the air, elated. For others again, it’s like they’re either waiting to get on the ride or their carriage is stuck on one of the lows. And they want to know why. They’re tired of waiting for the damn thing to move.
Some of us get to the stage when we ask: What’s the point of being positive? This thing ain’t moving and I’m sick of waiting! And sometimes that’s completely understandable. It’s okay to be tired sometimes.
Like anyone else, I’ve had downs, maybe not to the same extent as the next person, but still intense enough for me to see what they do to me, which is create a life-sucking monster (and no one wants to see that). But there are reasons to be positive again and to search it out once more.
But first, what does it mean to be positive? Do we have the same definition?
My version of positivity (and being positive) is optimism with its grounding in realism. It is the confidence in things turning out for the best and a belief in the power of good, but it’s not a belief that is divorced from reality. My type of positivity faces up to the sometimes harsh realities with strength and belief in that which is good or will be. It’s not denialism. It’s not living in a fantasy. It’s an attempt to live well and with heart for those around me.
It seems hard to be positive sometimes, I know. However, we are capable of adapting and living well in some of the most unlikely situations. Focusing on the good can be a rarity (and I like rare). There’s a lot more to reality than us, just look to the stars and you’ll see. Knowing and reading of geniuses and influential people makes me think that while there are some limitations and we can’t all be geniuses, we hardly know the power of our own minds and efforts, and we never fully know the extent of the universe. Positivity, combined with motivation and imagination, helps us to see these things and our potential and to ‘live it up’ while we have the chance.
It seems pretty difficult for someone to see this way when they’re down. It feels impossible really. I know that feeling. The way of thinking I’ve told you about above works for me but it may not be for everyone. There’s often more to it than I can give. But here’re my reasons to be(come) positive again (although I’ve touched on some already):
- You’re better than negative self-talk. It belittles you. It unsettles you. Worst of all, it may stop you from doing things that you love. Challenge the negativity. Scare it with positive affirmations.
- There’s more to life than this. These feelings won’t last. Time heals wounds.
- You’re stronger than you think. Keep pushing through. Patience and perseverance are two of the most important lessons to learn.
- Constant stress, anger and frustration aren’t healthy. Listen to your body and take care of its needs. What are you eating? Are you exercising? Positive thinking is good for you.
- Your situation can change, but first you need to know that your life is worthy of better things. You are worthy.
- Your mind is influenced by its surroundings/self-talk (see neuroplasticity). How do you want it to be influenced? Make it good.
- We can’t ride the highs all the time. We’d never learn or grow. It’s a part of developing character. What we have to do is learn to live in harmony with the lows. It’s worth trying!
- There are always things in your life to be grateful for, even if you don’t have a fancy car, perfect house, or the latest computer. Material wealth is not an end in itself.
- Your frame of mind influences others. What is the influence you want to have on others? Do you want it to be a good one? Positivity is more necessary than ever right now.
- “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” (Edmund Burke). When I’m down, I can hardly see beyond the rest of the week, let alone tackle the world’s issues. Although it’s not my responsibility to be drowned in them, I feel it is my responsibility to be aware of injustice and to tackle it one step at a time. It’s worth making a mark on the world. It’s possible to be happy in spite of all this. As I said, the type of positivity I want to live by faces up to harsh realities with strength and belief in that which is good or will be. And it changes people.
Here’s what I’ve learnt of downs: they don’t last forever and you’re usually ten times a better person upon conquering the darkness. You will gain insight, strength and knowledge that becomes a voice for others. Life IS both light and darkness. The trick is working out a balance. Direct your mind to better things, because the universe has a funny way of working things out.
Last of all, if you’re waiting to get on the carriage for the ride of life and you need a hand, ask for one. You’re not alone. Don’t wait any longer for the damn thing to move. Make it move.
What makes you positive or gives you reason to keep on? Comment below!
Updates: Apologies for the inaction, I’ve been a busy bee. I’ve submitted two articles for the GROW campaign and working on two more for May; The Allure of Junk is “percolating”; I’m not keeping up with my weights/walking because my life’s a whirlwind, but I’m trying to; my blog’s in the People’s Choice Round for Best Blog (here); and lastly, I’m graduating this Thursday! Take care x